More than a face in the crowd...

Found what I lost inside, my spirit has been purified...
Now all my emotions feel the air I breathe...
So why do I feel so hollow?

Have you ever had a feeling that you're just a reflection of somebody else? Like this very person inside of you exists, breathes, thinks and feels but it's not YOU? I have become aware of such state quite recently and I must admit that it's an extraordinary sensation of blankness. It is like a state of hibernation...the waiting. The thing is I have no idea what I am waiting for. My life is stuck in this one damn point and who knows when it will go further. I am afraid I will get used to this state and when the time is right I won't notice...and miss the big chance. They say life is made of the choices we make and the experiences we have. I must say that the choices are not always ours to make. Sometimes things just happen without our knowledge and we can do nothing to stop them(now this is what I call a total fuck-ups). Is it really that much to ask? To be something more...to actually feel and enjoy every single day you're living? No, of course not. I'm scared I don't know who I am..but I will figure that out. I must...